They, Them, Their...where?

If you are a real living person in 2020, it's likely you've come across the use of "they" in the singular form. Here's an example:

Alex went to a Lizzo concert. They had an amazing time.

(I mean, obviously they did. Who isn't having an amazing time at a Lizzo conert?)

If the very thought of using they in the above sentence to refer to one, single person sends you into a blind fitful rage, quenched only by the sweet release of an angry all-caps tweet, then 1) you may have rage issues, and 2) this post is for you.

The singular form of they is the pronoun we use when we refer to a person who does not identify as male or female in binary terms. Some non-binary folk prefer to use a combination of they and he or she, some prefer to use solely they, and some may change their mind or alternate between a few pronouns depending on how they feel that day. Such is the beauty of being alive in 2020.

The singular they can also be useful if you're writing about someone and don't know their gender or preferred pronoun. Lizzo's second-biggest fan Alex may be non-binary, or maybe I just don't know what their gender identity is and I prefer to err on the side of respectful caution and not make assumptions.

Here's the crux of it: using the singular they is not hurting anyone. MS Word programmers don't count. It's a beautiful example of how language evolves, and as editors, we need to evolve, too. When the rules of language no longer serve the world that we live in, we change 'em. We do this ALL THE TIME. Don't believe me? Then believe Merriam-Webster.

The big M-W added the following definitions for "they" late last year:

—used to refer to a single person whose gender is intentionally not revealed

—used to refer to a single person whose gender identity is nonbinary

So, their you have it (pun intended - don't "@" me).

Editors are, by no means, rule breakers (I think we're all allergic?). So every so often, isntead of breaking the rules, you gotta change the rules.